Wilson Family Blog: Your 90th Birthday

Dear Mom,

1963 Who would know how my life was going to change. I’m coming out of the elevator at a Business College. She was going in. We’re both in W/C’s so naturally we said “Hi”. Not long after we are talking in the cafeteria. She’s LDS. So am I. She doesn’t come back to school for awhile. She just had surgery. She’s very ill. I check up on her. She lives with the Building Missionaries. I drop back by here and there to see how she’s doing. Pretty soon we talk a lot. She hates being in a W/C. “You can’t be lady like.” We finish school. I go to work for Boeing. She goes to work for the PNW Bell. We talk a lot. She isn’t very “gutsy”. Doesn’t try many new things. Me, I’m the opposite. Do they attract? We do a few movies and a few dinners. She moves into her own apartment. I’m still at home. We do a few church meetings and I meet her friends from the Tri-Cities when they come over. Next thing I know we are headed over the mountains to meet the folks. I’d never been to Benton City so we drove through on the way to Richland. It was hot and the top on my convertible was down. As we drove through we were laughing and yelling “Judy’s back”. She showed me where they lived and where she got in the wreck. We saw Fran and Walt’s farm although they didn’t live there at the time. We drove to Richland. The folks lived on Cottonwood.

My first visit. (I actually can’t remember if I met them in Seattle before that visit.) Mom was the same then as she is now. I’m not kidding. Laid back and full of stories. She had too many kids with too many things going on to sit and worry about them all. Woodrow ( I tried to call him Dad but no one else did) was into sports. Yeah! We could talk and talk about the Seahawks. The girls all called him Daddy when they talked about him. Deb and Andy got away with murder! “If we would have tried that!” That’s what they all said. I guess I came on the scene when he mellowed out. Our favorite times were our trips to the Tri-Cities. I don’t know what the family thought when she told them we were getting married. Two “gimps”? What can they do? I know my folks wondered how we were going to take care of ourselves. It was 1967. We headed to Oakland with a friend (Gaylen). We met Gram and Amos. My friend Karey showed us where the temple was. Grandma Virgie went through with us. (I was instructed not to let Gram Know). Karey set us up in a nice hotel and had flowers, etc. delivered. Me, I had sunburned lips. They would plaque me (maybe Judy was relieved) until after our two receptions.

Richland and Seattle. I read one time “not to think that when you marry, you don’t marry the in-laws, too.” I’m lucky. I loved mine from day one. I’ve always been shown that I am a part of the family. Marriage was great. It was fun sitting up house. A landlord put in a ramp so that we could rent their house. We both worked. Judy watched me “play” w/c sports. We did some thing fun together. Square dancing and bowling. It wasn’t fulfilling enough for her. I kept playing. She called adoption agencies. After a couple of lengthy home studies, we were dropped. Judy persevered.

In 1971 we got the call. There was a baby waiting for us in Wenatchee. But !!! I was in a sports meet that weekend! How could I not go? We waited until Monday and headed over the mountains. They brought us the blonde, blue eyed, Gerber baby. After a few hours they took her back. We had to sleep on it. Maybe something would rub us the wrong way and we wouldn’t want her. Next day after reassuring the case worker that she would fit in just fine we packed two w/c’s and a baby into the convertible and headed back. The best days of our lives were about to start. I had been laid off for 6 months. Didn’t need a job. I was busy with my sports and Judy was working. I was the baby sitter. After my w/c games in June Judy told me that she had given her two weeks notice. I quit playing and went to work for King County. I loved the job but it wasn’t long before Boeing called me. The company was going downhill and they needed me back! Trina filled our lives with a purpose. Judy knew this before we even had her. There was a special spirit waiting to be placed in our home. We ran back and forth across the mountains to visit family.

Judy loved hanging around her Mom, Dad, and Sisters. (O.K., and Andy) As much as she hated driving the mountains during the winter, we still went for the holidays. One year we got caught in a snowstorm and had to stay in a motel in Ellensburg. They wondered why two people in a w/c with a baby were traveling in this kind of weather. For the most part we had good experiences. We had those neat dinners down in the basement. Gram played the piano upstairs and Amos sang. Judy was so excited when Lorraine moved to Benton City and when Karen moved to Seattle. She had all of her family around.

One year Mom and Dad (Woodrow) came for Thanksgiving. A rare treat because as we all know, he doesn’t like “socializing” and especially sleeping at relatives. He decided to build a fire in our nice fire place but forgot to open the flu. Needless to say, Mom spent a few hours scrubbing down our walls. Nice Thanksgiving! Judy had her share of illness while Trina was growing up. Mostly bladder and urinary problems. There were mostly good times though. Trina took dancing, piano and sax. She loved school. She jumped back and forth to friends houses when her Mom did her hospital stints. We all rolled with the punches.

Trina left for Ricks college in Idaho not knowing that her Mom was infected with HIV. It was the way she wanted it. Why make her worry. More than anything Judy wanted Trina to finish school. We drove her down and helped get her settled. We left feeling so comfortable. Finally we had to tell her. Our last Christmas together was 1990. We went “home” to Benton City. Judy was pretty sick but still loved being around everyone.

In February 1991 Judy died. Even when things were bad at the end she was happy that the family was there. She went around the room and told each of us what we meant to her and that she loved us. It was sad but she was ready. Like I said earlier, “she never liked being in a w/c”. Trina dropped out of school and went on a mission. She came home with her future husband. I now have five grand kids. Judy was so right. There was a special spirit waiting to be in our home.

Now as we celebrate your 90th birthday, I say thanks to you for what you brought to my life. I’m part your family. I always will be. You have longevity in your blood. I won’t be surprised if I see Judy before you do. There are no words to say thanks. I hate your being so far away and wish that I could just dart over the mountains again but I’m glad you are happy. Like your daughter said. “The best times are with family”

I’ll keep calling. Happy 90th,